Pockets are a problem. Whoever came up with the idea back in 18th Century England was doing too much snuff. Pockets are especially a problem for writers. Because, in addition to keys, loose change, wallet, eyeglass case, and cell phone, you also need a pad, pen, pencil, glasses, and, of course, a napkin that you\u2019ll throw away even though it has some really good ideas on it. (Not to mention masks. Two years ago it was hard to find one. Now they appear in the pockets of every coat I put on.)<\/p>\n

Admittedly, I make things worse by dressing in layers\u2014an increasing number of layers as it gets colder. So, between jeans, fleece vest, sweatshirt, and the occasional windbreaker, I could be walking around with anywhere from five to ten pockets. And I\u2019m not even counting those weird hidden zippered ones. You put something in one of those and it\u2019s history.<\/p>\n

All those pockets, combined with a barely detectable attention span, mean it\u2019s unlikely I\u2019ll find my phone before the person hangs up, a pen before I remember what I wanted to write, or my keys anytime in the near future. So I end up spending most of my time in public patting myself in ways that many people would find disturbing.<\/p>\n

For several years, my wife Wendy would mildly suggest\u2014and that\u2019s putting it mildly\u2014that I put myself out of my misery by getting a \u201cman bag\u201d. In addition to the phrase\u2019s troubling connotations, I didn\u2019t see how I\u2019d benefit from a public display of pockets. Besides, I\u2019ve known people who have spent half their lives looking for the perfect handbag and the other half trying to find the things they put in them.\u00a0Me? A man bag? Forget it. It\u2019d raise a few too many eyebrows in my definitely dressed-down Vermont hometown and would give certain people way too much cynical fodder.\u00a0So, it came as a surprise to both me and Wendy that, one day, when we were walking through a crowded outdoor market, I absent-mindedly tried on a few man bags and made a vaguely positive comment about one of them. Before I could object, she\u2019d bought it.<\/p>\n

I spent a few weeks trying to wear the thing. I successfully designated two pockets for the essentials\u2014one for my phone and another for the pad, pen, and glasses. I didn\u2019t even panic when I discovered two more tiny side pockets that were crying out for toothpicks, aspirin, or my 30-year-old Swiss Army Knife that would get confiscated at the airport because I forgot it was in there.\u00a0I was almost starting to get used to wearing it until I met our daughter for lunch a week or two later. Emily has the same acute design eye as Wendy, albeit with a different generational aesthetic.<\/p>\n

\u201cLook, Em\u2026Mom finally got me to buy a man bag,\u201d I said, bravely flinging it over my shoulder.\u00a0She tried not to blink. She wanted to be supportive of my new fashion statement, but her hesitation said it all.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot working is it?\u201d I said quickly.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s just\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I totally agree with you,\u201d sensing this might give me a way out of this increasingly uncomfortable experiment.<\/p>\n

She proceeded to make all the points above and more until she finally suggested that perhaps I needed something bigger; something more\u00a0mail<\/em>\u2013 than\u00a0man<\/em>\u2013bag.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, then I might as well just use my computer bag again,\u201d I said hopefully.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, smaller than a computer bag,\u201d she said thoughtfully.<\/p>\n

I looked at her. She looked at me.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a problem,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Pockets are a problem. Whoever came up with the idea back in 18th century England was doing too much snuff. Pockets are especially a problem for writers. Because, in addition to keys, loose change, wallet, eyeglass case, and cell phone, you also need a pad, pen, glasses, digital recorder, napkin that you\u2019ll throw away even though it has some really good ideas on it, and, of course, an unabridged dictionary. (Not to mention masks. Two years ago it was hard to find them. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3382,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[4,5],"tags":[13,60,81,133],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidblistein.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3307"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidblistein.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidblistein.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidblistein.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidblistein.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3307"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/davidblistein.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3307\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3617,"href":"https:\/\/davidblistein.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3307\/revisions\/3617"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidblistein.com\/wp-json\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidblistein.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3307"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidblistein.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3307"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidblistein.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3307"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}